My Problem

It may not seem like it, but I actually lose quite a bit of sleep over Radio Citrus.  I want to bring it back.  Ever since that day when the steering wheel fell off my Subaru, I got out of the habit and never got back to doing the show.

To quote Santa Claus, "I just kept putting off, and I was too embarrassed" to start it back up.

And I got busy.

The truth is, I got a small promotion: I could step inside a radio studio.  And another: I could touch the radio control board.  And another: I was in charge of behind-the-scenes producing for a national talk show (that was a bit of a jump).  And I had some bad dating experiences with some really dumb girls.  Anyway, that's kept me really busy the last few years.

Now back in the 90s a few promotions would mean I'd be buying a house or something now.  Maybe even buying a wife and kids to go along with it, too. (Anyone know where I can order those?)  But in this economy, my two promotions mean I can finally upgrade from "renting a room" to "renting an entire (tiny) basement."

As my radio "career" ("career" used in the same way Sandwich Artist is a "career") progressed, and I began to producer better and better talk radio, I began to see Radio Citrus in a crappier and crappier light.  The only part of Radio Citrus I feel proud of is the enjoyment you got out of it.  Enough to leave nearly a DOZEN comments, send emails, and even leave voicemails on a phone number I no longer control because I am too cheap to pay it.

I'm willing to be embarrassed:

I want to bring Radio Citrus back, but in a better way.  There's no point doing a 2-hour weekly radio show for a web site that's pretty much dead.  Blessed be its name.  At my age my parents were buying houses, building careers, all that jazz.  I just can't bring myself to create a podcast for 14-year-olds.

So if I was to start up some type of "few days a week" short podcast/show, what could we talk about?

• Our generation is totally hosed.  At least for now.
• Both political parties are evil.
• Mitt Romney has hair plugs.  They're just expensive "good ones."
• Barack Obama hasn't brushed his teeth in 11 days.
• How LIBOR is like Anson Fullerton on Burn Notice.
• How to replace a steering wheel on a '95 Subaru Legacy L.

Is this thing worth resurrecting, even in a more "serious" meaningful way?  Not saying the memes/YTMNDs will totally go away.  I just don't have the stamina to produce regular YTMND shows.

Wadd'ya think?  Leave comments here and on the Facebook page.

Copyrights Taste Great Deep Fried

Thanks for everyone for calling in and tuning in!

I finally got tired of copyrights. Part of why I haven't bothered with the podcast is because I couldn't find enough new "public domain"-ish content to justify the show.

Today, I sat in mild boredom watching cable news, when it donned on me. Perhaps it is better to ask for forgiveness, than it is permission. And tada, a new live show blasted out to a mass audience (of about 10 people).

To celebrate, I tried to violate as many copyrights as I could, mostly to send a strong, pro-First Amendment message, but mainly just to be a jerk. Record labels are like a legal cartel. Sort of like the Kennedy and Capone families in the 20's. (Oh, and I ripped that gavel picture off some pro-Copyright web site).

The re-broadcast of the show should be airing as you read this. For updates, add "Radio Citrus" on Facebook and Twitter. Well, mostly Facebook. Twitter is for old people with Blackberries. And President Barack O'Carter. A likable, one-term president, and future humanitarian.

Sorry, So Slow ...

Unlike Will Ferrel, the podcast isn't dead.

But I figure I owe you all an explanation as to why the momentum started slowing down in July. Before I took my trip to California, my job was pretty much dead. We had almost no work and I wasn't getting hardly any hours. Add budget problems.

When I got back, a bunch of stuff piled up on my desk. And I picked up more hours, which meant more stuff piling up on my desk. As I write this, I am currently lost in a maze of paperwork and I can't find the door. I keep calling out to my co-workers, but they can't find me either. Thankfully they toss me a Hot Pocket and Evian over the wall to keep me alive.

Once I make it out (hopefully) alive I will make the next podcast. Don't worry, the RANTLINE (951-817-7268) has been archiving all of your calls.

Also, for your convenience: JULY PODCAST

Only One Day Late

Alright, here we go for the month of July! More fun and less logical than crushing luxury cars for no good reason.

Originally, I was going to go out on the road broadcasting from Los Angeles, Las Vegas, San Francisco, Portland, etc. But I was on vacation, so I never managed to pull the tape recorder.

For what it's worth, Las Vegas is too hot. Los Angeles is too crowded. San Francisco is the four-way stop capital of the world. And Portland is too rainy.

So, now that I am back safely in familiar digs, and similarly bored, it appears it is time once again to open up the RadioCitrus.com audio mailbag at 951-817-RANT.

Coming up on this month's podcast:

• The "Wikipedia Contest" really, really backfires on us.
  
• John Whitecloud is in a North Korean prison and we try to get him out.
  
• The Sears Tower and William Shatner share something in common.
• A look back on the life on an American legend.
• A live performance from a prominent West Coast rapper.
• Every single phone call ... the Top 10 ...
  
• ... and soooooo much more ...

STREAM JULY PODCAST

DOWNLOAD JULY PODCAST

Now 36% Less Lame

Check out the Radio Citrus "Taped Show" Podcast Below!

Howdy gang:

Well, apparently Radio Citrus us turning out to be a bigger project to tackle than I originally imagined it to be. I'm sure you've probably had your own web-ventures, and can relate.

9 5 1 - 8 1 7 - R A N T

I've had three problems with the live show so far:

Firstly, getting people here. We've had a loyal group show up for the two live shows in May. Unfortunately, there are plenty of others who'd like to be here, but find they have real lives to live on Friday nights. If I could get Radio Citrus to stream via iPhone and Blackberry, that would begin to fix the problem.

Secondly, trying to get Radio Citrus to stream via iPhone or Blackberry. For some reason uStream claims I can do it, but it doesn't seem to work for anyone who tried. I don't own an iPhone yet, mainly because I hate Apple almost as much as I hate AT&T. There's no way I'm going to buy a phone created by Stalin and Hitler.

Finally, my time. Although the live show is only three hours, I was finding myself spending at least that much trying to get all the equipment hooked up. And probably another three hours chopping it all up for the repeat shows. I'd probably need another three hours if I was to actually prepare the show the proper way.

Plus, I'm angry at radio right now and want it to die.

Well, not really. But I am admitting that podcasting probably has a brighter future. Well, at least for Radio Citrus. I see:

• You can call in anytime to 951-817-RANT to be on the show.
• You can e-mail your content to radiocitrus@gmail.com anytime you want.
• You can listen anytime you want!
• And finally ... we can all listen in the car!

STREAM THE RADIO CITRUS PODCAST

DOWNLOAD THE RADIO CITRUS PODCAST

This does not mean the end of live shows. We'll still do some, but they may be monthly or quarterly. But I'm hoping the podcast will be more frequent.

If you send me lots of (usable, non-copyrighted) "funny joaks" then I will be able to make podcasts easier and more frequently.

Any-who ... Radio Citrus is heading out on the road! We'll be broadcasting from Las Vegas, Hollywood, San Francisco, and Portland. Shows from these cities will be coming up in July in August.

Thanks for your continued support and listening to Radio Citrus!

Radio Debut: Uncle Larry, 9 ET

They say you only get one first impression.  But Larry doesn't care.  Dispite having a serious learning disability (illiteracy), he plans to count down your top 40 songs that you requested at radiocitrus@gmail.com tonight at 9:00 PM eastern.

Send in your voicemails at 951-817-7268 and Larry will play as many of them as he can.  Due to popular demand, he may not be able to play 'em all.  

He'll keep the airwaves 'sassy' all evening long!

And don't worry - the live shows will be coming back.  Things are a bit crazy, working two jobs, still under-employed.  Recession = good times!

Larry ... 9:00 Eastern.  BE THERE!

Steering Wheel Falling Off

It sounds like a lame excuse, but it may mean tonight's live show may start late or not at all.

I was driving Meinen Wunderauto when the wheel started feeling loose, almost like it was ready to fall off. Now I'm 50 miles away and trying to figure out what best to do without getting shafted by a mechanic.

Anyway, it's still early ... and I may make it back in time. But if you hear a repeat broadcast, or just the automated loop, you'll know why.

Update: I called my favorite shady mechanic, Guido. He pulled Das Wunderauto back behind the Taco Bell on Matin Luther King Blvd., next to his horse trailer (which he calls a "mobile repair unit.") Guido saw the airbag and got scared and told me "hey man, I don't touch that stuff." (Bad experience in Gulf War I, I think). I'm now trying to fix it myself. Updates coming later... stay tuned.

Update: Anybody know how to disable an airbag so it doesn't explode?

Update: Guido's buddy Paul gives me a 1-in-5 shot of blowing a finger off trying to fix my car, versus a 1-in-20 shot of my steering wheel falling off if I try to drive home as-is. I'm taking those odds pretty seriously since one guy walked over, wallet open, telling Paul he "likes those odds." So I'm going to drive home. Wish me luck!

Update: If I'm ever going to do any live shows forever (or anything, for that matter), I really need to fix my car so I don't run off the road.

So it pains me to announce that the live show will (most likely) be POSTPONED. Instead, I'll tape a show late, late tonight which will run tomorrow night featuring your voicemails to 951-817-RANT. Make requests, gripe about Nancy Pelosi, or whatever. I'll try to work every voicemail into the show.

Excuse Our Dust

Mi Amigos -

I'm sure you are very aware by now that Friday's live show hasn't been repeating. And the stream keeps quitting.

That's because I've been having internet trouble. And oddly enough, it has not been Comcast's fault this time! (I'd mention what has been causing me trouble, but a picture is worth a thousand words).

With a little bit of free time tonight, I may be able to get a 9 ET/PT night show rebroadcast lined up. I also have plans to link directly to uStream's archive of the show, if you'd like to listen on demand.

Both of those should be up in the next few days.

The only thing holding me back is giving Rev. O'Grady a ride to the airport. It seems he needs to temporarily flee the country. Something to do with Slap Chop and a defamation law suit. (It sounded complicated).

Anyway, he wants a ride because he's afraid the van may draw too much attention in the airport parking lot. Especially after what Bill Cosby did to the front when he backed his Hyundai Elentra into it. (Apparently Cosby rolls in style)

Don't forget the RadioCitrus Wikipedia contest, with results coming up this Friday at 9 PM.

And west coast listeners, don't forget to call in starting at 6 PM, as your 9 PM rebroadcast is ... a re-broadcast, which means I'm not taking calls. I'm probably eating. Or swimming in my ghetto apartment complex pool.

Always looking for suggestions: radiocitrus@gmail.com

Later!

Live Show Today!

Howdy from the West!

I'm getting everything together for live show number two. Phone lines open starting at 9:00 Eastern Time, right here on RadioCitrus.com. Feel free to get a few comments in before the show, as well via the RantLine:

9 5 1 - 8 1 7 - R A N T

Playing hot hits from the RadioCitrus studios!

Coming up on tonight's show:

• Contest: Guess which YTMND this sound comes from.
  
• Battle: Vince v. Gregory Brothers
  
• Where has all the Swine Flu gone?
• California is burning, again.
• How long can your RadioCitrus Wikipedia entry last?
  

And we may even get a visit from RadioCitrus' oldest, and dearest homie, the famous Rev. Steve O'Grady, whom we are trying to convince into buying a Slap Chop because it comes with a free Graty.

Later!
.

Next Show: Friday, May 8

Howdy all!

The launch party was a huge success! Thank you to everyone who called in. I believe you called in from Long Island, Virginia, eastern Pennsylvania, Denver, Tallahassee, Canada's only "real" province, Minnesota, Wisconsin, and many, many other points I can't think of off the top of my head. (Oh yeah, Nebraska too. Thanks for reminding me).



As you know, I am running "Worst of the Live Show" all this week at various times of the day, if you want to tune in and hear yourself and friends again. All times eastern: 9 AM, 2 PM, 9 PM, and midnight.

In the meantime, feel free to leave a voice message at: (951) 817-RANT (that's 7268).

I am planning on another live show this Friday. Subject to change if something more exciting comes along (dating, catastrophic systematic economic collapse, etc.)

I'll keep you posted if something comes up. If not, same time (9 ET, 6 PT), same channel.

Later!