Solved in 60 sec: Amazon Drone Conspiracy

So 60 Minutes on CBS is already wiping egg off their faces after booking a guest who made up a bunch of stuff about Benghazi.  Seriously, it's the exact same plot as HBO's The Newsroom, season 2.

And now they have to deal with this embarrassment:  Taking Amazon's "Prime Air" delivery drone announcement seriously. It's so ridiculous and over the top, nobody would ever believe it.

What's that?  You believed it.  How embarrassing for you!

Well you, and CNN, and CNET, and 99% of America.  If you step away from the well-crafted public relation and 60 Minutes announcements for two seconds, common sense will return to your mind, and you will see how absolutely impossible Amazon Prime Air really is.

Or just let me sum its ridiculousness for you in 60 seconds:



P.S.  It is possible Amazon will make the drone viable.  And if they do, TacoCopter isn't far behind.

P.P.S.:  I'm also not holding my breath for Taco Copter.

Solved in 90 sec: Brian Griffin Death Conspiracy

SPOLIER ALERT:  They killed off Brian.  But you already knew that.

Despite thousands of Family Guy fans signing e-petitions to bring Brian back (have e-petitions ever worked for anything?), it appears Brian is dead for good.

Except, he isn't.  Here's why:

P.S.  It is possible Seth MacFarlane has felt Family Guy has gone on long enough.  Most shows arc within 5-7 seasons, which can feel like an eternity (The Office, anyone?).  Family Guy is well into its teenage years.

Perhaps MacFarlane is tanking Family Guy on purpose, in which case, all bets are off.  He'll kill of Peter next week.  And Stewie the week after that.  And by the end, only Mayor Adam West will remain.

Solved in 60 sec.: Unconstitutional Controversy

When I lived in the Pacific Northwest in '04, I remember seeing "Impeach Bush" signs all over the city.  There was no end of Constitutional violations which Mr. Bush had made.  It was clear that any free-thinking, educated liberal person would naturally support an effort to end the tyranny of the Bush family and its infringing on the constitution.

Credit:  Portland Indy Media

Then I moved away from the ocean and up into the mountains.  Here everyone is different.  It's Republican country.  Scratch that.  It's "conservative" country (Republicans are too liberal).  And naturally, Barack Obama is Satan himself.

Yes, it's 2004 all over again.  Except we've switched parties.  Washington, Congress, and the President are all ignoring the Constitution, and blah, blah, blah ... yawn.  I've ignored it ... right up to the moment when a town near Park City did something unthinkable:



P.S.  The truth of the matter is I agree with liberal criticism of Bush and conservative criticism of Obama.  I wish the outrage was more substantial and consistent beyond flip-flopping depending if "my party" is in power.

Solved in 60 sec: Autism Vaccine Conspiracy

You have this weird crazy conspiracy going around that vaccines cause Autism.  Maybe, okay.  Perhaps.  I wouldn't rule it out.  After all, America is the country that brought you "The Jungle" (the novel, and the hot dog factory).  And it's not like drug companies are our best friends, right?

And for all those reasons above, I encourage all Moms to vaccinate their kids.  Not because I trust the drug companies.  But because of another reason:



P.S.  You can always class-action sue a drug company.  You can't sue a disease.